TV Gods Sanctuary Review

It has come to my attention (via a thunderbolt to the head) that I, Hermes, have been taking too active a role in the reviews so far, and they have reflected primarily my own take on a a particular show. This is, of course, fine with me, but big daddy Zeus wants his own say. So we're going to reformat the reviews slightly from now on. Each of my family will still be in charge of a specific facet of the review, but they will now be doing their own writing. We'll see how it goes, and if Dionysos is readable at all.

Sanctuary

Hermes: This is a (relatively) unprecedented show. Created as an online “webisode” program, but by professionals (mostly Stargate alums), and filmed mostly on green-screen, Sanctuary was picked up by Sci-Fi after they’d streamed the equivalent of their first two episodes on-line (which they then re-filmed for the regular show). So. Unprecedented. Too bad it’s not very good.
Hephaestos: It is not a bad premise -- the "Sanctuary" of the title is a place for monsters and mutants and mythical creatures to stay. They're safe there, and don't hurt mortals. It is good all around. But then there are the plots. The first two episodes were slow, like half-heated iron, and when the third episode moved a little faster, it was obvious that the writers had sped up the process of building the plot by reusing plot elements from other shows -- the villain hiding in plain sight is an old plot, easily broken without exquisite craftsmanship, which the Sanctuary writers do no have. Plot: 2
Zeus: I am DISSATISFIED! When I sit down to watch mortal storytelling, I expect heroes, like Heracles and Achilles! Stronger than men, in both physique and psyche. Their problems should be epic, not mundane. Sanctuary claims to be a Heroic show, with the immortal Doctor Magnus leading the team, and her daughter Ashley showing the same superheroic feats of athleticism and warfare as Atalanta. HOWEVER, Magnus is too perfect, filled with hubris, and Ashley has the personality of a silly young girl, and not a Heroine. Ah, and there is another character. Doctor Zimmerman. HE IS SO DULL I HAD FORGOTTEN HE EXISTED!!! The recurring villain, apparently your "Jack the Ripper," is the only interesting one in the bunch, and he has not nearly enough screen time. Bah! My ruling: CHARACTER: 2!
Apollo: There are two schools of thought on dialogue. Some think it should sound like real people speaking, complete with ums and uhs, and the rather limited vocabulary most mortals speak with. Others believe that dialogue should be lyrical, beautiful, ready to set to music. This lyricists, are, of course, correct. Mortals go to the theatre, or the TV set, to escape their life, to be lifted above it. For this to succeed, they must be exposed to speech more akin to that of Olympus. The Sanctuary dialogue is decidedly of the "realistic" variety -- but not so far as to be rustically charming, only dull. The characters do make themselves clear, but they spout no witticisms worthy of quotation. In addition, the lead, Amanda Tapping, otherwise a fine actress, puts on a strange and forced English accent, distracting at best and grating to the ears at worst. For the purely functional dialogue, I give Sanctuary Dialogue: 2.
Athena: It is good to see a fantastical show where not everything in the world is spelled out. Viewers have brains, they should exercise them, and Sanctuary gives a reasonable chance for the audience to do so. The world created owes something to mythology, and those familiar with the (inferior) Celtic mythos may recognize the Morrigan in the second episode, though this knowledge is not necessary to enjoy the story. Similarly, the presence of John Druitt, also known as "Jack the Ripper," will fascinate those familiar with English history a century gone -- and the show's version of "Jack" promises mystery that tantalizes the viewers. On the other hand, the plot of any given episode require far less brain-work. It may take a short time to acclimate oneself to the world at the opening and understand exactly what is going on, but after that, the audience is led by the hand. This dichotomy of exactly how much Sanctuary expects from its viewers is quite vexing, and leads me to give this judgment -- Intelligence: 3.
Dionysos: GROOAANNN... Must I watch this? Must I force-feed this gristle down my throat? Sanctuary is DULL. The characters are DULL. The plots are DULL. Even the action is DULL (partly because I don't much care if any of these characters take the big dirt nap). The show may be smart, it may be unprecedented, it may be the cure for cancer (cancer's a disease, right? You mortals have that?), but if it's not fun to watch, then what is the point? I would rather watch a dumb show like Valentine, that at least has a sense of humor, and attempts to give the audience something to enjoy. Fun: 1.
Hermes: Harsh words from many of my fellow Olympians. Dionysos really hates this thing. In short, we’d stay away from this one (and curse Sci-Fi for canceling Stargate Atlantis, which they probably did so they could afford Sanctuary), unless it gets better. It is showing signs of getting better, but it’s got an awfully long way to go. Overall: 2.

All scores are from 1 (bad) - 5 (good)
Hephaestos (Plot): 2
Zeus (Character): 2
Apollo (Dialogue): 2
Athena (Intelligence): 3
Dionysos (Fun): 1
Hermes (Overall): 2

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